iHate unclear product names

Apple finally launched its latest iPad. Because it comes after the iPad 2, most everyone expected it to be named the iPad 3, following the naming conventions of the iPhone. Instead, Apple gave it a name that only a marketer could have developed:

The New iPad

If a technical communicator had been asked to name this product, this name would never have entered their mind.

Where to start?

First, how long is this iPad going to be new? One month? Three months? Six months? Major product releases are often a year apart or more. Can you imagine walking into an Apple store a year from now and asking for a "New iPad"? I guess some things have more "new" than others.

Next, what will they call this iPad once the next one is released, assuming it will still be for sale? The Not So New iPad? The iPad Between the New iPad and the Even Newer iPad?

Finally, the iPad 2 is still available, at a reduced price. I can just picture the conversation:

MacHead 1: Hey, I just bought a new iPad!

MacHead 2: You mean the new iPad?

MacHead 1: No, silly, I mean a new iPad 2!

MacHead 2:  So it's not a new iPad?

MacHead 1: It is a new iPad, it's just not the new iPad. Geez...what's so hard to understand?

Why can't companies stick with clear, self-descriptive names? I admit the traditional naming sequence is boring: Product name 1, Product name 2, Product name 3, and so on. But at least it's comprehensible.

Maybe I'm being picky. Maybe, like the old Apple slogan use to say, I need to "think different". To that end, here are my suggested names for the next iPad:

• The Newerest iPad
• The Much More Newer iPad
• The Newer iPad That's Way Newer Than The New iPad
• The iPad with New All Over It
• The Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious iPad, Now With Even More New!

 Or maybe we could combine both the marketing approach and the clear communication approach:

• The iPad 4 - "Who New?"

Apple. Think different. Name stupidly.